Weird Teacher, Bad Teacher, Missing Teacher, Mad Teacher

Today was not the greatest day.  My biology teacher was missing, which was a plus.  She always makes mean jokes and strange threats.  Math.  Where do I even begin?  Well, according to Mrs. W, I did the wrong homework problems, so she told me to re-do them or I won't get any credit.  I think I won't do them, just to piss her off.  Today was just one of those days.  I caught her mistakes before she even made them.  When it gets to that point, you know you have a really bad teacher.  Anyway, I was especially pissed at her today, with the homework situation and all, so when she gave us dumb questions about our weekend and personal lives, I had no choice but to give the dumbest answers possible.

1. What do you look forward to this weekend?
-Hopefully, no homework.
2. What is your favorite hot drink?
-Boiling water.
3. Was the substitute teacher good?
-No.  He was fabulous.
4. Who is your celebrity crush?
-Gandhi.

Of course she had to go on and on about some Polish hot cocoa she's had.  The only thing that told me was it's one of the reasons why she is king-sized.  (Opposed to the regular and fun-size population.)  Not even beluga whales have that much extra fat.  Maybe that's why she keeps the temperature so low! Light bulb! Anyways, someone who I haven't spoken about quite yet is my English teacher.  You will surely hear about her a lot, because Jackson's in my class, too.  Quite frankly, I think she's insane.  She's in her 40's and lives alone, and has a strange obsession with Japanese anime and dragons.  Not to mention that fake Japanese voice that makes me want to curl up and DIE.  AND, she claims Totoro is a bunny, when it's a well known fact that TOTORO IS A FREAKING FOREST SPIRIT.  Jackson likes to bother her about it.  It's really funny.  She also wears WAY to tight of clothes, and she's not exactly, you know, fun-sized, or regular sized for that matter.  And that reveals the disturbing tattoo!  It's really disturbing!  It's some strange reptile cactus thing.  I can't help laughing.  She picks obvious favorites, and it really sucks.  Luckily, I think she likes me, and Jackson too, that's probably why I have an A.  Cause I really don't understand how I have an A, while Andrew, the guy who sits next to me (one of the smartest kids I've ever met) is getting a C.  When teachers obviously favor people it makes me really mad.  Well, there's certainly more to come, but I doubt you'll hear from Jackson this weekend.  He's off at some game convention watching professional nerds burn out their eyes.  Rant to you later!

-Dahlia