Dysfunctional Dancers: Part 1 Of Many to Come

Well, you may know that I am a pretty serious dancer.  I had a weekly rehearsal with my ballet performance group tonight.  I am the oldest one in that group.  There are ten of us, and I would like to describe them all for you since you will be hearing about them a lot.

Me: AWESOMENESS

Willow: She's the 2nd oldest.  Ugh, she's sooo annoying...  Whiny and sad when she doesn't get her way.  Bossy and annoying all the time.  Thinks she's God's gift to ballet.  Overdramatic.  One of my least favorite people to walk this earth.  And her mom thinks she's way cooler than she is...

Shelby:  She's 3rd oldest.  In cahoots with Willow, also very annoying.  Those two follow me everywhere.  She's pretty spoiled, and likes to let everyone know.  She takes stuff and never gives it back.

Tati:  The epitome of spoiled brat.  She owns her own business, and wears Michael Kors (she's nine) and has two ipads.  She has the best of everything, yet she can't pick up on choreography to save her life.

Emily:  She farts constantly in class, it's awful.  She is generally quiet, and has some potential.  She is just really unattentive and gets bored really easily.

Charlotte:  The smallest in our performance group,  she's really cute.  She is a great little dancer (better than Willow and Shelby who are 3 and 4 years older) and she works really hard.   I'm 5 years older than her, and I respect her.

Lily:  Also a good dancer, and really mature for her age.  I think she is one of the better dancers in our performance group, an enemy of Shelby's.  An enemy of Shelby's is a friend of mine.

Becca:  She is adorable.  She was my partner in the Spring Show this year, she was great.  She listens and needs some technical work, but her sparkling personality on stage totally makes up for that.

Piper:  The cute, freckled kid.  Every group should have someone like her.  She's just the funniest thing ever.  She is scared of Willow.  But then again everyone is.

June:  She doesn't say much.  At all.  She blends into the background, but is a good dancer.  Her legs are like 200 miles long, it's not fair.  We go to certain stores to hide from Willow, Shelby, and occasionally Tati.

So today we had Breast Cancer Awareness day, because it was the 1 year anniversary of some teacher's death from breast cancer.  They wanted us to wear pink.  I brought extra stuff like ribbons in case people forgot.  I gave one ribbon to Charlotte because she asked me nicely.  Then Willow was like   "Hey, Dahlia, get me something pink!"  I was like, slow down bitch, I don't even know if I have anything left!  I did though.  I decided to hold a contest for my pink sweater to wear.  Me and Becca were the judges.  I had them do our Angels dance from the Nutcracker, and the clear winner was Lily, cause she was the only one who remembered it.  So Willow gives me this "Oh no you didn't" look.  Come on.  It's a sweater.  And then Shelby punches Lily, greaaaatttt.  Well, I'll let you know how tomorow's rehearsals go with these guys.

Dahlia

One of THOSE Days

It was one of THOSE days today, when its cold and cloudy outside, and Mrs. W opens the windows and turns on the A.C.  When English Teacher wears skinny jeans and pretends to sound smart when she's really making no sense.  When I have to label the parts of the heart, to be subsequently called an idiot when I cannot find the pulmonary valves (well I know now.)   Well, Mrs. W does NOT like me.  Maybe she's jealous of my normal size.  No, I'm pretty sure she embraces her fatness.  Maybe she's jealous of my I.Q.  I'm not even that smart, but hey, I'm smarter than her.  I did the homework in literally 3 seconds, and she got mad cuz I didn't show work for 2+9=11 seriously.  Then in English.  Oh crap, English Teacher rambles on and on and then says "SMILE!  YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY!"  How can I be happy when I have HER as an english teacher?  I think I'd better scowl instead.  She's making us rewrite some dumb thesis and it will be just as bad as before.  Maybe even worse.  Well, bye everyone...

Dahlia

Storytime: Mr. Brannan's 5th Period

Last year, I had a very entertaining algebra class.  The teacher was Mr. Brannan, a very flamboyant guy who wore woman's shirts and weird hats.  My two good friends and I, Shannon and Mallory developed a dislike for Mr. Brannan and his weird ways.  Our tricks to faze Mr. Brannan got in the way of grades, though, me and Mallory in particular.  But aside from our awful grades, we always did something really fun in our back corner of the class, in the midst of Brannan's strange and at times perverted comments.  Mallory and I LOVE Saturday Night Live.  After every weekend, we'd come to school, and the first thing we'd say to each other is "Did you see Stefon?"  "Wasn't Lana Del Rey terrible?"  "Wasn't that monologue hilarious?"  Once, we decided to write a skit for Stefon on weekend update, one of our favorites.  I will post it later once I find it in my pile of old schoolwork and other crap, but just take my word it was really funny.  Please, if you've never seen Stefon on weekend update, youtube it.  But anyways, we kept reading our original skit, and Mr. Brannan took it from us and put in his collection of random toys, broken phones, and letters he got from students.  His one rule was, "once something goes in my jar, it may never come out."  Well, reciprocating our skit was not gonna happen, so when Brannan was standing at the door of the room, I snuck over to his jar, and took out the skit.  He never found out.  I was definitely blunt with Mr. Brannan,  on the last day of school I told him "This was the worst class ever."  Well, I regret saying that, because 1/2 of my classes this year are worse than Brannan's class for sure.  And after taking his shirt off in front of us, calling me, Shannon and Mallory witches, and the teacher's aide a vixen (and it was a dude) and 19 letters of complaint to the principal, no progress was made.  I really got absolutely nothing out of that class, just countless laughs, some humiliation, and the knowledge to never trust a math teacher who watches Game of Thrones when he should be grading tests.

Ouch, My Hand

I just punched a wall.  Yeah, there is a dent.  I am PISSED at english teacher today.  To PISS her off, even though I doubt she'll read this, I'm going to use words she hates.  PISS.  That's a GOOD place to start.  She is a BAD teacher.  I'm going to use lots of slang, (which I'm sure would make Tyrone very HAPPY) because she yelled at us today for usin' SLANG.  So, I'm gonna make a list of thing that I am VERY PISSED about.
1.  SHE IS WEIRD!  If I haven't convinced you, her favorite shows are Phineas and Ferb and My Little pony.
2.  SHE GIVES YOU THE GRADE SHE FEELS LIKE GIVING YOU.  If she hates you, sorry, you have a D.  She claims that the grades you get in your freshman and senior years make no difference in college acceptance.  Coincidentally, those happen to be the two grades she teaches.
3.  SHE GIVES US SOOO MUCH HOMEWORK!  If grades don't matter, why don't you just fail us and let us eat chips for an hour?  My stress level would decrease by 100%.
4.  SHE TREATS HER TEACHER'S AIDE LIKE A SPOUSE.  This is probably the most disturbing.  This poor guy.  She calls him "honey" and I've seen her spank him once or twice.  Who in their right mind would ever sign up for that job?

I'd like to introduce a new term.  It's AITF.  Short for ASS IN THE FACE.  Everywhere I turn, some teacher's ass is in my face.  It's awful.  It always happens to be, well, a king-size teacher, (Biology, Math, and English)  which makes it more disturbing.  AITF has many useful uses.  If someone's ass is in yo face, first of all.  Another use is for when someone, a teacher in particular, is treating you like $h!t.  It's like they're sticking their ass in your face, just to PISS you off.  Other uses may include being blown off, being directly insulted, or judged.  Let me know who's AITF'd you today, in the comments, or on Twitter, @jacksondahlia11 #AITF.

Tyrone.

            Hello. My name is TYRONE. A little about me: I have just entered high school, just like them other two people on this blog. I got a sister around 8 years older than me, but we get along with eachother very well. I'm a generally good citizen, except for the fact that I intentionally cause anger to swell up within individuals through the medium known as the "Internet." I'm close friends with Dahlia and Jackson, more so with Jackson, but still good friends with both. I was invited to go ahead and create some BLooooog posts by Jackson after I had complained so much about my new school and the idiotic student population it holds within it's school walls between the hours of 8 A.M. and 3 P.M. You see, I used to live in the same area as mickie d and j j, but then I moved. So now I go to a shatty school with very few nice people and an abundance of morons who cannot seem to figure out whether China is a country...(it is)  Anyway, it seems I have some interesting things to say, and venting anger towards out through a blog? Why not. Expect a lot of content because my school is full of idiots and people who refuse to just shut the bleep blop up and be good little morons.

                           Yo' brotha,
                                         tyRONE

Homecoming- A Dilemma

Several kids are facing this dilemma.  Homecoming.  Just the word itself stirs tsunamis of confusion and frustration in my already troubled brain.  I don't really know if I should go.  I mean, it's from 7-11:30 first of all.  They won't even let you out until 11.  People will probably get bored, knowing the nature of the kids in my town.  And you know what they do when they're bored?  Three things. 

 #1.  Violence.  These kids think it's real funny to throw punches.  Woo freaking hoo.  Good for them.  It's bound to happen.  And I will just be traumatized and anxious to leave.

#2.  Drugs.  Uh, well, there are a certain number of people who smoke pot in the courtyard, and walk into 3rd period drunk.  If tonight is a night for trying new things,  I'd prefer to not be a part of it.

#3.  Sex.  Yeah, enough said.

And I'll be honest, I may have quite a few friends, but in these super social settings, I am a mess.  Do you know what happened at the last school dance I went to?  Me and two of my friends, Aubrey and Shannon, just ate Snicker bars and danced for about 5 minutes, looked at guys we thought were attractive, then see them in the light to find we were very wrong.  My ideal "social setting" would be eating atomic cinnamon fireballs and talking to my friends for an hour or two.

The next dilemma is the dress.  There is no pleasing the many-minded fashion gurus that walk the halls of high school.  Black=too emo.  Red=slut.  Blue=expected.  White=wedding ceremony.  Pink=too childish.  Green, yellow, orange=no taste.  And that leaves me with brown and purple.  Brown is rare, and is hard to wear well.  And purple is impossible to find shoes to go with.  So why shouldn't I just ditch this dumb dance?  I would rather play "go-fish" with Ciaran and Thea for an hour.  Oh, and lastly, I don't feel like spending $30 on admission, $40 on a dress, and $40 on shoes that I'll only wear for a night.  What do you think I should do?  Please share.

Annoyed, Frustrated, Furious

The more I keep re-reading this idiotic contract for English class, the more angry I get.  "Students must whole-heartedly use the intellectual standards as a guideline."  "Anything written is subject to the Academic Honesty Code and Discussion Protocols."  Signing this paper, I feel like I'm signing my creativity, innocence, and sanity away.  (As well as several of my natural rights.)  Whatever happened to thinking for yourself?  Being creative?  Original?  Taking the road less travelled?  All these wonderful things I've learned, and I feel like high school, this English class in particular, is taking all that away from me.  The one thing I ever liked about school was being resourceful, imaginative, out-of-the-box.   And these horrible rules are just ripping out of my hands.  My stupid teacher, "Be original, don't plagiarize, blah blah blah."  Well, I'm sure if I wrote something completely and utterly spectacular, so that even her years at college couldn't hold a candle, she'd give it a high C at best, or claim I plagiarized.  Because this is a freaking public school.  I'm not saying the grass is greener on any other side, but this school is definitely corrupt.  If this is what they want us to think, to annotate books instead of connecting with the characters, to blindly analyze Shakespeare instead of performing it, or at the least, enjoying it, then who's gonna lead this country when all the lunatic teachers are too fragile to leave their recliners?  People who stick to crummy rules?  Or people who dare to break them?  If you don't take risks, you can't get very far.  I have a challenge for you.  Take a risk.  Challenge authority.  Try something new.  Five weeks of high school and I've already lost my marbles.  Check in with me later to see how this works itself out.  Spoiler alert:  it probably won't.  Chances are I may not be alive.  I may be crushed by some fat person.  If you know me, you know who this is.

Good Morning!

I love Saturdays!  5 hours of dance, sleeping in and NO SCHOOL!  Anyways, we created a facebook (Jackson Dahlia) so please friend us if you want more updates and brief rants.  We also have a twitter, (Dahlia and Jackson, @jacksondahlia11) so please follow us!  By the way, I think Taylor Swift is awesome.   Thanks to her song "Ronan," I found out about Ronan Thompson's story and his battle with cancer.  I would encourage you to check out his mom's blog at rockstarronan.com.  Ronan's mother also wrote a post about another boy, who is fighting the same battle.  His name is Ty, and he's not doing so well.  Please check out his mom's blog at superty.org.  Thanks, and please check out these sites!  Because cancer has taken to many lives.  We need to stop it.

-Dahlia
Chlo rocks hehehe

Weird Teacher, Bad Teacher, Missing Teacher, Mad Teacher

Today was not the greatest day.  My biology teacher was missing, which was a plus.  She always makes mean jokes and strange threats.  Math.  Where do I even begin?  Well, according to Mrs. W, I did the wrong homework problems, so she told me to re-do them or I won't get any credit.  I think I won't do them, just to piss her off.  Today was just one of those days.  I caught her mistakes before she even made them.  When it gets to that point, you know you have a really bad teacher.  Anyway, I was especially pissed at her today, with the homework situation and all, so when she gave us dumb questions about our weekend and personal lives, I had no choice but to give the dumbest answers possible.

1. What do you look forward to this weekend?
-Hopefully, no homework.
2. What is your favorite hot drink?
-Boiling water.
3. Was the substitute teacher good?
-No.  He was fabulous.
4. Who is your celebrity crush?
-Gandhi.

Of course she had to go on and on about some Polish hot cocoa she's had.  The only thing that told me was it's one of the reasons why she is king-sized.  (Opposed to the regular and fun-size population.)  Not even beluga whales have that much extra fat.  Maybe that's why she keeps the temperature so low! Light bulb! Anyways, someone who I haven't spoken about quite yet is my English teacher.  You will surely hear about her a lot, because Jackson's in my class, too.  Quite frankly, I think she's insane.  She's in her 40's and lives alone, and has a strange obsession with Japanese anime and dragons.  Not to mention that fake Japanese voice that makes me want to curl up and DIE.  AND, she claims Totoro is a bunny, when it's a well known fact that TOTORO IS A FREAKING FOREST SPIRIT.  Jackson likes to bother her about it.  It's really funny.  She also wears WAY to tight of clothes, and she's not exactly, you know, fun-sized, or regular sized for that matter.  And that reveals the disturbing tattoo!  It's really disturbing!  It's some strange reptile cactus thing.  I can't help laughing.  She picks obvious favorites, and it really sucks.  Luckily, I think she likes me, and Jackson too, that's probably why I have an A.  Cause I really don't understand how I have an A, while Andrew, the guy who sits next to me (one of the smartest kids I've ever met) is getting a C.  When teachers obviously favor people it makes me really mad.  Well, there's certainly more to come, but I doubt you'll hear from Jackson this weekend.  He's off at some game convention watching professional nerds burn out their eyes.  Rant to you later!

-Dahlia

Jackson

Alright..., hi name's Jackson...not some stupid name like Justin or Jeffery or something.
Dahlia told me to be on this blog so...
An introduction
1) Name's Jackson, not some weird-ass name like Justin (You can tell it bothers me)
2) I have one annoying-as-hell sibling
3) I am realted to Dahlia... but i only met her a few years ago at some funeral for some person whose name i can't remember.
4) Like Dahlia i just started high school.., but nothing interesting yet...,
so...
i'll stop writing now...



He eats poop -Tyrone

Everybody Talks

So I'm sitting here after dance class, listening to an overbearing mom quiz her poor eight-year old on adaptation.  I don't even know half of this stuff.  Poor kid.  Anyway, something's been bothering me lately, especially today.  I'm always waiting for this girl who has a locker above mine, and today I'm particularly annoyed.  Today she's upset because Mark spread a rumor about her.  Mark.  I could go on and on about this guy.  And yet it's just impossible to find words to describe him.  One thing's for sure, he likes to make up some really interesting stories.  Last year he told some boy I liked him, and when I got really confused since I barely knew this kid, Mark's strange and mean story made everyone mad and he lost a lot of people's trust.  This story is actually very interesting, but it's not for right now.  But, Mark is back to his old tricks.  (Did I mention that I'm pretty sure he's gay.  Nothing against gay people, in fact Chris Colfer is the best...getting off-topic, sorry.)  Here's the thing, I gossip, don't we all?  But spreading lies just to hurt others, now that is just sick.  From experience, it just makes everyone sad and uncomfortable, and it stirs a lot of confusion.  I really hope that people will stop making up these stories and rumors.  It will spare you of the guilt and distrust.  Also, we'd all be better off without rumors and lies.  It distracts us from the stuff that matters: family, REAL friends, other extracurricular stuff, and as much as I HATE to say it..... school.

"I never thought I'd live to see the day, when everybody's words got in the way."  Sadly true, very true.

-Dahlia

Math Teacher's Away? Dahlia Will Play! ( and rant)

10-3-12
Luckily, I had a substitute in math, so there's not too much to rant about, I guess.  Wait, hold on, never mind.  I just heard the name Cody Simpson again.  Seriously, I am over this crap.  There's this girl Alina who's in like half of my classes, and she is obsessed with Cody Simpson.  Cody may have more talent than, uhh William Hung... But I don't like him.  He is cocky.  Trust me.  I saw him on cupcake wars and that kid is full of himself.  And he's douchy.  I can't put my finger on it, but something really irks me about this kid.  Moron.  I'd rather listen to Bieber.  Never mind.

Math Rant #2: Another Magical Day

10-2-12
Another fascinating, magical day in math.  Just kidding, it sucks.  I go to a freaking public school.  So technically, everything is free.  Or at least, it should be.  So my teacher is selling off people's lost school supplies and mini water bottles.  I asked her where the money goes, and she said, "my pocket."  So I think that's illegal.  I asked to leave to get a drink of water, because I didn't feel like forking out a dollar for a mini water bottle.  But she told me I had to buy one from her.  Illegal.  And as if I can't feel more cranky and dehydrated, she writes on the board, "BUY ONE, GET NONE FREE."  Wow.  Really classy, Mrs. W.  I RESPECT YOU.  I guess I'll just remain parched until lunch...

Math Rant #1

9-28-12
     I'm in math now.  I swear it's 40 degrees in here.   I can feel my nervous system shutting down.  Is it just me or have I been cursed with terrible math teachers time after time?  Every time it just gets worse and worse.  This year, I have Mrs. W, who isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.  Her voice sounds like a Disney Princess who inhaled some insane amount of atmospheric gas, but she looks like a combination of Ursula and a character from Up...
This is a typical conversation I have with her.

Teacher: You're doing the homework wrong.
Me: I don't think I am.
Teacher: Let's get the calculator.  The calculator never lies.  (She gets the calculator, realizes I'M RIGHT, goes back to her desk and doesn't say anything for the rest of the period.)

...or there's the temperature conversation....

Me: Uh, can you turn the air down a little.  It's really cold.
Girl sitting behind me: I can't feel my arms!
Teacher: What?  It's HOT in here!
Me: Can you just turn it down a little, please?
Teacher: What's best for me is what's best for you.  (Then she goes over to the thermostat and turns down the temp. another 5 degrees.

This is the kind of nonsense I get at school.  I really should just teach myself.  Ugh, I get up at 6, then do 4 hrs or more of homework every day, and this is what I get in return!  I am losing my head!

Dahlia's First Post

Okay, so my name is Dahlia, I just started high school, and I don't like it.  I like to rant A LOT.  I am not a "glass half empty" kind of person.  I am a "the glass is at the 1/2 mark" kind of person.  Don't mistake my frequent rants for being ungrateful for what I have.  I am grateful for very much in my life.  Here are some things you should know about me.
1.  I don't get along with teachers.
2.  I don't get along with crows.
3.  I have a sister  Thea who's 11, and a brother, Ciaran, who's 8.  They drive me to my last nerve.
4.  I have severe ADHD.
5.  I hate school, if you didn't figure that out already.

Since school started like 6 weeks ago, so there's a lot to catch up on.  So I'll just post the rants I've written in my notebook some other time okay?

-Dahlia